I started playing guitar when I was 10 years old.
I wanted to do it because my friend David played. He was good.
As good as a fifth grader can be I guess.
I used this no-name-brand electric guitar that belonged to my dad. It was black with a white pickguard. It looked like a Stratocaster, but it had these buttons on it that must have acted as a pickup switches. I think there were three of them, big and wide and white and smooth – like lightswitches almost. Maybe 3/4 of an inch wide and 1 1/2 inches long. In my mild internet research I’ve not been able to find them. Maybe you can. If you do let me know.
Anyway.
The guitar worked fine (despite it’s sketchiness and homemade aesthetic). I took lessons at a local music store and learned out of a song book. I think I made it all the way through the first book… possibly started the second. But after 3 months of lessons I was done.
I’ve told my guitar-playing origin story before (on this very website) so I’m not going to go into it again. But it turns out I just wasn’t ready to play the guitar. Fine. No big deal. As a 10 year old I was more into Nintendo.
A few years later I picked the guitar up again – this time an acoustic one (strangely enough, that very same acoustic guitar is sitting within arms length – you can even hear what it sound like here or here).
I also picked up a Jimmy Buffett song book. This was before ultimate-guitar.com was a thing… and definitely before youtube was a thing. I muddled my way through tabs and chord charts in the song book and was well on my way.
That was 1995. I was thirteen. I’m writing this in 2020. Twenty five years of solid guitar playing.
I really haven’t put it down since.
But recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the 10,00 hours rule (which may or may not be true). I figure I’ve probably accrued close to 10,000 hours of guitar time. If not, I’m getting close. Now that hasn’t been 10,000 hours of deliberate practice… Jesus Christ I can’t even imagine. But it is about 25 years of non-stop guitar. It’s not like a took a year off. Sure there have been weeks when the guitar never got picked up, but nowadays I hardly go a day that I don’t play.
So I was wondering if there is any lesson or point or meaning or purpose to these past 25 years of guitar.
Here’s what I’ve come up with…
Escapism
I don’t like parties. I don’t like small talk. I can’t stand meetings. I am an introvert. I get my energy of quiet and alone time. Or rather – I lose a ton of energy from engaging with other humans. It drains me.
I love humans. I really do.
I love deep conversations. I love connecting with others. I love my friends. I love my family. I love my daughter. I love my wife.
But I can’t handle them all at once. Too many people in a room and I want to withdraw.
But put a guitar in my hands and I’m good for hours. There could be a storm of people around me and as long as I can hone in on that guitar, I’m good to go.
I’m in private in a room full of people.
No one needs to hear me playing. It’s not about being the center of attention… or even getting any attention at all. It’s just the act of having a guitar in my hands that makes me feel better. Comforted. At home. At peace. Ahhh. Even now I breathe a sigh of relief just thinking about it.
Private in a room full of people. I like the sound of that.
Connection
Obviously the opposite of escapism. Yet somehow an unintended result of playing the guitar.
As may be obvious… I’m not the most socially outgoing person. Sure I can throw up the act, put on a little charm or stage presence, but I’d prefer not to have to go through the charade.
I know how to be socially engaging – I just don’t like it and it drains me.
But… the guitar is a the buffer. The music is the connection and the language.
As soon as someone learns that I am a musician… or even that I play guitar… there is an immediate conversation starter. I don’t have to worry about small talk because I can talk about the guitar, music, bands, artists, lyrics, writing songs, amps, gear, whatever.
I can connect.
After all of these years I’m still writing this blog. I guess I still have something to say.
Music isn’t going anywhere any time soon. There is so much good music out there.
If you can play guitar (or any instrument) you can connect to just about anyone.
Friendship
This was unexpected for me.
Growing up, all of my friends were involved in music in some capacity. Drama club, theater, chorus, choirs, bands… it was what we did. Some people played sports, we had music as our extra curricular activity.
As I got older and started playing gigs, I didn’t hire musicians to play with me. I didn’t put up a flyer that said: “bassist needed”. I just got my friend Andy to play bass with me. Or I got my friend Jeff to back me up on guitar. It was way more fun to play with them then to create a band from scratch.
But we got older and our priorities shifted and we played fewer and fewer gigs.
When I started teaching music lessons I started to connect with students. All of the students I have now I consider friends. I’ve been with them for years and there is a personal relationship that develops form that.
I also started playing music with some of my students. Casually at first – just little jam sessions here and there. But after some time of just jamming we started to really gel.
Now we have regular gigs and practice sessions. My drummer runs our Facebook page and has a mild Yoda obsession. The people are my band – my friends. I didn’t expect this. But I’m grateful for the connection and the opportunity.
Therapy
If you couldn’t tell by now – guitar is therapy for me.
Playing music.
Writing music.
Singing.
Learning.
Teaching.
All of this stuff is therapeutic in some way or another.
Certainly not a replacement for actual therapy. But it’s gotta be better than self medicating with booze, drugs, junk food, TV, or social media. It’s gotta be.
Guitar is an outlet for me. It’s a release valve.
It’s anger when I need to yell. It’s peace when I need peace.
Distraction
I’m trying a new thing.
I’m trying to stay off of mindless TV watching.
Off of mindless internet surfing.
I’m trying to digital detox a little.
During the times when I’d usually turn on Netflix and watch The Office for the millionth time, I’m trying to do other stuff – read, clean, nap, rest, workout, and – you guessed it – play guitar.
I gotta tell you – it was weird! For the first time in… like forever… I just sat on the sofa and played guitar.
Just sat there with no agenda.
No song to learn for a lesson.
No song to learn for the band.
Just sat there. No agenda. Just the guitar and the quiet room.
I tried to play songs from memory – songs that I never knew how to play. Or songs that I knew so long ago and haven’t played in years.
I didn’t use the internet to look up songs. I just tried to figure it out myself.
Eventually I got stuck (I couldn’t figure out all of the chords to Pencil Thin Mustache) and busted out that old Jimmy Buffett song book from 1995 (of course I still have it).
Conclusion
That’s it for now.
Just some random insights.
I’m not trying to sell you anything.
I’m not trying to teach you anything.
This isn’t in response to questions I’ve gotten.
I just felt like sharing my experience – especially some of the non-musical stuff.
Playing the guitar isn’t going to make you happy for the rest of your life. It’s not going to solve all of your problems. It’s not going to make you rich and famous (well… maybe it will).
But it’s also more than just a distraction. More than just therapy when I need it. It’s more than the friendships I’ve made. And it’s more than a means to connect or escape.
It’s a part of me now. It’s a part of my mind and muscles.
My hands and wrists are bend and twisted. My fingers are calloused. It’s a part of me.